Get a Grip

11.7.2007 | 12:15 pm

This time of year is custom made for people like me to erase any fitness we’ve fought so hard for since early Spring.

First, there’s the lead-up to Halloween, which most people don’t realize is even worse than Halloween. Why? Because, as a considerate consumer, I feel it is my duty to go and buy all the trick-or-treat candy a couple weeks before Halloween, just to be prepared. And since I want to be popular with the kids, I buy the good stuff. No Jolly Ranchers, man. I give away Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and KitKat bars.

And then, of course, I eat all the candy before Halloween arrives, so I have to buy more candy the night before Halloween. And, sometimes, again on Halloween night.

Yes, I have a problem. You think I was being glib when named my blog “Fat Cyclist?” Ha.

Strangely, my children don’t have the same candy compulsion I have. After Halloween, they’re perfectly content to eat a couple pieces of candy per day. This, as far as I am concerned, is un-American behavior. So — always a patriot — I help them out by eating their candy for them.

Usually, my children stand back, horrified.

And of course it’s cooler weather, which makes me want to melt butter and cheese over everything I eat, including breakfast cereal.

And then there’s Thanksgiving, followed rapidly by Christmas and New Years. By the time this triple-whammy of holidays rolls around, I usually have given up. By January second, I’m starting over from scratch.

But this year, I’m going to do something different.

And you are too.

Get a Grip on Your Diet, Get Some Cool Grips
What I need, basically, is to jumpstart my diet. I need to stop slowly gaining weight by doing something drastic to get back on the right track.

And the way I’m going to do this is by having a contest.

The six people who lose the most weight next week — Starting the morning of Monday, November 12 and going to the same time the following Monday, November 19, will get to choose a set of Ergon GP1s, GC2s, or GR2s. (Thanks to Jeff Kerkove and Ergon for volunteering the prizes.)

Yes, that’s right: we’re all going to compete against each other to see who can lose the most in one week. And the six who lose the most win these sweet grips, which retail for $30 - $50.

How to Enter
It’s too easy to start a diet and then quit, because you’ve got no skin in the game. So this contest has an entry fee. Specifically, if you want to play, you’ve first got to make a $10 (or more if you like) donation to the Lance Armstrong Foundation. Then, when they email you the receipt, forward it along (feel free to delete any personal info) to me (, along with your starting weight this Monday (November 12). 

Then, the following Monday (November 19), email me your finishing weight.


I’ll then list how much we cumulatively lost in the blog, who the winners are, and how much we raised for the Lance Armstrong Foundation.

So, you’ll be getting your diet on track, you’ll be participating in a friendly competition, you’ll be contributing to a good cause, and you’ll possibly be winning some extremely cool grips.

Oh, by the way: I intend to defeat all of you.

The Rules
You can use any diet you want, but you should be honest about how you weigh yourself. For example, if you drink a ton of water before you weigh yourself the first time, then get go on a two hour ride without drinking any water before you do your final weigh-in, that’s cheating. And you know it.

So: make your weigh-ins be at the same time of the day, under identical circumstances. For example, both my weigh-ins will be first thing in the morning, before I exercise or eat or drink anything. So any weight loss should be honest weight loss.

Also, don’t be dumb. If you’re dumb, you’re out of the contest. For example, if you starve yourself and have to go to the hospital because you swooned, that’s dumb.

My Plan
Just so you know, I intend to use The Stunt Dietâ„¢ as my method to lose weight. This will be the second time I will do The Stunt Dietâ„¢, however, and I have modified it to be even stranger than before. Specifically:

  • Monday: Nothing but Muesli. As much as I can stand.
  • Tuesday: Nothing but yogurt. As much as I want / can stand. I hope to break my old record of twenty.
  • Wednesday: Nothing but pasta with marinara sauce. As much as I can stand.
  • Thursday: Nothing but fruit. Emphasis on bananas and grapefruit. As much as I can stand.
  • Friday: Nothing but pasta with marinara sauce, again, because I’ve run out of ideas. And because I really love pasta and never get sick of it.
  • Saturday: Nothing but protein shakes. As much as I can stand.
  • Sunday: Nothing but chicken. As much as I can stand.

Also, every day I will drink at least a half-gallon of water.

My weight loss prediction: six pounds.

Are You In?
So, do you think you can beat me with your diet? Or, better yet, is there anyone in the whole world – aside from me, of course — brave enough to try the Stunt Dietâ„¢ with me?

Well, who’s in?


  1. Comment by eclecticdeb | 11.7.2007 | 12:25 pm

    You WOULD have to start this next week. Not last week, not this week, but NEXT week. I’ve just started WW and lost 2.2 lbs last week. That was with a fair amount of “cheating” (dinner out 3x and untold amounts of wine consumption). This week I expect the big drop — since I am limiting my social engagements and thereby removing the temptation to eat yummy food as well as drink copious amounts of red wine.

    If I did you stunt diet, I would most certainly GAIN weight. Pasta with marinara? Oh the insanity!

  2. Comment by bikemike | 11.7.2007 | 12:27 pm

    good luck to you all.
    i will guard the candy until you come to your collective senses.

  3. Comment by fatty | 11.7.2007 | 12:28 pm

    sorry deb, it’s got to be next week, because this weekend is the annual fall moab trip, and there’s no dieting during fall moab.

  4. Comment by Rick S. | 11.7.2007 | 12:29 pm

    That diet is disturbing. I recommend you eat whatever you want but do two-a-day rides. A lunch ride followed a few hours later by a night ride. This will take the weight off quicker and will be much more enjoyable.

    Rick S.

  5. Comment by aussie kev | 11.7.2007 | 12:31 pm

    awesome i loved the stunt diet, i still have scars in my mouth from eating “crunchy” muesli bars for a whole day.

    count me in for the challenge, the beauty of this is i can diet for one week and then i can have a “what i could have been” graph plotting my results into the future, for me its win, win , win.

    i am going to use the DCâ„¢ diet, i will eat normally but will swap 1 meal per day (2 if i feel fat) for a glass of DC (diet coke)

  6. Comment by Boz | 11.7.2007 | 12:39 pm

    6 POUNDS ? I’ve taken bigger cr@ps than that wee man!

    Fat B@st@rd.

  7. Comment by Sophia | 11.7.2007 | 12:45 pm

    Are you sure that stunt dietâ„¢ isn’t already breaking your rule? Or is it only dumb if you end up in the hospital?

    Well, I honestly can’t wait to hear how this goes. Hope things are going well, Susan.

  8. Comment by Denise | 11.7.2007 | 12:53 pm

    I laughed all the way through your stunt diet but when I read Boz’s post I thought I was going to spew water from my nose!! I do agree that your children are totally unAmerican with their attitude towards candy FC. I am thankful that my girls are not that way, otherwise I would have wave my patriotism in their faces by gorging myself on the mass quantities of candy that they always aquire on that grand night. Best of luck to all who partake in the diet challenge….I myself am a lost cause. It’s plateua land in my dieting endeavors. ;-)

  9. Comment by DavidAZ | 11.7.2007 | 12:57 pm

    The stunt diet is intense! I would surely have to add some granola to the yogurt day to not get unbearably sick. I ingest the items from the stunt diet everyday in an effort to gain a bit of body mass actually.

  10. Comment by mark | 11.7.2007 | 1:15 pm

    Count me in, but I actually tried the stunt diet last time around. Didn’t work for me. I don’t think any diet that includes pasta would lead to me losing weight. Instead, I think I’ll try eating fish for lunch every day and replacing dinner with diet coke and some pumpkin seeds.

  11. Comment by | 11.7.2007 | 1:19 pm

    OK, I guess Im in. I still don’t own a mountain bike, but I’ve been wanting… could hang onto the grips until I get one.

  12. Comment by Kiwi_Cuzzi | 11.7.2007 | 1:21 pm

    I tried you Stunt Diet last year. I lost 2kg in the first 2 days. I also suffered cuts to the roof of my mouth from Crunchy Muesli Bars and havn’t been able to eat Yogurt properly since. But I’m going to suck it up again and have another stab at it. Training in 38 Deg Celcius is an advantage.

  13. Comment by Big Mike In Oz | 11.7.2007 | 1:35 pm

    When your children “stand back, horrified” they aren’t aghast in the traditional awe/horror sense… it’s more like horrified that if they get too close to the frenzy they’ll lose a finger.

    I’m in.

    I started my freaky diet a few days ago. It involves eating the doors off the pantry in the middle of the night while studying for end of semester exams. It’s amazing how much simple sugar you need to eat when there’s 18 chapters of a physics text book in front of you.

  14. Comment by Soggy Bottom Boy | 11.7.2007 | 1:37 pm

    In case anyone is curious, healthy weight loss (we’re talking about adipose tissue. Read: fat) for one week cannot exceed 3 lbs (that’s a 10,500 calorie deficit for the week). Anything more is water/glycogen depletion and not fat. So go ahead and starve, lose weight and gain it ALL back when you take that first sip of water and eat that piece of toast. Like I said, in case anyone cares…

    But you can’t go wrong by donating money to a good cause. I commend you all for that.

  15. Comment by bradk | 11.7.2007 | 1:43 pm

    for the love of god, don’t do it! i’m with rick s. that sounds very disturbing and likely to produce a lot of gas. the first stunt you’ll do after completing the stunt diet will be an endo because your bike skills won’t be able to deal with all the weight you’re going to gain.

  16. Comment by Willie Nelson | 11.7.2007 | 2:06 pm

    Rick S is right, two-a-day rides are great for 1) having more fun 2) having more fun 3) having more fun and 4) doing a double crank up on your post-exercise resting metabolism. Besides, I’ve never heard of anything that came from Muesli besides gastric distress.

  17. Comment by db | 11.7.2007 | 2:19 pm

    Isn’t Muesli Swedish for “colon blow”?

  18. Comment by Thom | 11.7.2007 | 2:49 pm

    Sounds similar to a lemonade fast. Nothing but lemonade with copious amounts of simple sugars for several days. The lemons dull your appetite. There’s supposedly some health benefits to it. If you drink as much as you can stand you never feel too hungry.

  19. Comment by monkeywebb | 11.7.2007 | 3:11 pm

    I’m already losing a weight loss bet to my brother, so I might as well get in on this one, too. Somewhere along the line the “skin in the game” balance will swing me over to actually avoiding an entire row of lemon bars. The “it’s fruit” excuse got tired four pounds ago.

  20. Comment by BurkeInTheOzarks | 11.7.2007 | 3:30 pm

    I’m on the fence here. I have been hankering for some Ergon grips but I’ve pretty much plateaued on weight loss lately, as I can’t seem to get below 183 (I was 199 at the beginning of Spring). So, with the impending holiday gorge-fests combined with the lack of light after work since the time change, I’m destined to gain weight for the next couple of months, not lose it.

    However, I may have to send in a donation and my current weight, just for kicks and to support a good cause…

  21. Comment by BDBG | 11.7.2007 | 3:33 pm

    Soggy Bottom Boy: Thanks for that little ray of sunshine. Most of us here understand the realities of weight loss vs. water loss. Despite your cheery insight many of us will take up FC’s challenge if only for the glory of telling weight loss war stories at the end of the week.

    Fatty: Count me in. I’m planning on losing so much damn water weight Aquarius may have to come down from Olympus just to carry it around until I’m good and ready to put it back on.

  22. Comment by chtrich | 11.7.2007 | 3:35 pm

    db….stop it. I’m spewing my water all over the place. And for those that don’t remember; watch this

    As for the contest…….I’m tempted, but as I sit here eating my 10th fun size piece of candy (these really are fun to eat!) for the day I just know my heart isn’t in it yet. I’ve set my sites on that Jan. 1 date and until then I’m enjoying food, food, and more food.

    Best of luck to all that compete. I am interested in the results!

  23. Comment by sans auto | 11.7.2007 | 3:36 pm

    Soggy bottom boy,
    I think that hte reason it is unhealthy to lose more than 3 pounds/wk is because beyond that isn’t sustainable and has a major influence on your metabolism and if you get your metabolism to slow down dramatically (which severe diets will do), it becomes far more difficult to lose more weight. You can lose more than 3 lbs. of fat in a week, it’s all about expending enough calories and not replacing them. Water loss is bad, but losing weight because of glycogen depletion isn’t the end of the world. In fact, if you lose a bunch of weight because of glycogen your body will work to replenish those stores. How does your body do that? it spares glucose to be stored as glycogen by burning fat instead. In the end, a calorie is a calorie, it doesn’t matter whether it was fat or carbs. Messing with your metabolism is potentially the dangerous part.

    If I could make a (sarcastic) recommendation for the week long diet, I would recommend the Hollywood diet. You can find it at a variety of stores… or at least you used to be able to. it’s a diet drink that’s quite expensive and if you read the directions it says, “For best results, don’t eat.” I’ll give you a tip, you don’t need the drink to make not eating an effective weight loss regimine.

    Our prayers are still with Susan.

  24. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 11.7.2007 | 3:37 pm

    The kids aren’t standing back because they’re disgusted by your behavior, they’re standing back because they’re afraid of getting their hands caught in the machinery!

    If I were stranded on a desert isle with nothing but a cargo container of yogurt, I would never ONLY eat yogurt for even 24 hours.

    I liked your raisin juice diet. Now that’s a manly man diet. It also reminds me of trying to bleed a stone and squeezing money from a turnip.

    For my diet, I’ll consider doing a cereal diet. Nothing but cereal (and milk) for a week.
    Monday=fruity pebbles
    Wednesday=chocolate rice crispies
    Friday=fruit loops
    Saturday=honey smacks
    Sunday=go to the doctor for treatment for diabetes and constipation

  25. Comment by chtrich | 11.7.2007 | 3:44 pm

    I vote for Botch’s diet!!

  26. Comment by Jessi | 11.7.2007 | 4:04 pm

    Shouldn’t the weight loss be calculated as the proportion of your body weight lost? That way, the bigger dudes (who presumably have a greater std. dev. in their own weight) won’t automatically beat the littler dudettes.

  27. Pingback by | The RocBike Review » Links Of The Day: 7 November 2007 | 11.7.2007 | 4:05 pm

    [...] Get a Grip — Fatty’s challenge: Lose weight, win stuff! [...]

  28. Comment by eclecticdeb | 11.7.2007 | 4:08 pm

    Okay Fatty. I’ll still play. I have my weekly weigh in on Monday evenings, so it works out pretty good. This just gives me an excuse to drink some wine this week so I don’t lose ALL of the “big drop” weight this week. I’ll try to save a pound for next week. But, no stunt diet for me. With my luck, I’d gain weight.

  29. Comment by Stephanie | 11.7.2007 | 4:10 pm

    I am IN. I’ve been talking about getting back on a diet for weeks now… but i keep eating cookies. I’ll binge the next few days, then totally cut it all off on Monday. i can’t wait! That, and i can’t wait to donate to an awesome cause.

  30. Comment by randomhigh | 11.7.2007 | 4:38 pm

    tell the truth, FC… you had kids just so you could eat their candy.

    as for the contest, I tried some diet (John Thurman, I think) last summer that was supposed to make you lose 10lbs in a week… I lost 3lbs and have never felt crazier in my life (maybe it didn’t help that I was taking a summer class at the same time.. or maybe it was eating the same thing over and over again… ugh, brocoli and chicken still gives me shivers) kudos for having one of the craziest diet though! I’ll be cheering for all of you from the comfort of my recliner, ready to pour chocolate milk (whole milk too… none of that reduced fat stuff either) down anybody who stumbles off the track in desperate need of some wholesome calories (hey, it’s wholesome in my book)

    I’ve been reading your site for almost a year now and it always makes me snicker (I have to snicker cuz the people around me in the library don’t appreciate chortles and snorts) even tho I can barely ride a bike (gasp! it’s sad but true… that whole “you never forget” thing doesn’t apply if you never learned it properly in the first place) Good luck, Susan. I really hope and pray you get better.

  31. Comment by Congo | 11.7.2007 | 5:38 pm

    After just completing a four day epic cycling trip in Laos eating nothing but sticky rice and instant noodles I don’t have a chance of winning this competition. Which is OK actually because before I went on the aforementioned bike trip I fitted Ergon grips (the GC2 model with the stubby bar-ends) to my bike after seeing them plugged on Fatty’s blog. I’ve gotta say they’re the most comfortable grips I’ve ever used and I never once had the numb finger syndrome I usually get from round grips. The bar ends look small but in fact they’re really comfortable too.
    I’ve got an Ergon backpack ordered (after not winning that competition either!) and if Ergon ever do a saddle I’m all over that as well.

  32. Comment by KatieA | 11.7.2007 | 6:29 pm

    Hey Fatty, I reckon by next week, that package I promised you should have arrived. I DEFY you not to dig on into it as soon as you open it. My timing is perfect!!! :)

  33. Comment by domestique | 11.7.2007 | 6:56 pm

    The triple whammy of holidays is known as HallowThanksMas. I wish all dieters the best of luck!

  34. Comment by sasquatch | 11.7.2007 | 7:08 pm

    Hey Fatty,

    I was 6′4″, 247 about a month ago. I’ve been dieting and riding a bit more than usual and I’m down to 232. I plan to stop between 220 and 225 and try to stay there. That’s fighting weight for me.

    Of course I’ve been encouraged by your example, but one thing bothers me a bit that I’d love you to address. You were a gonzo rider before you lost all your weight. This last year, you raced the Leadville 100 at a significantly lower weight than ever before, right? And yet your time, though GREAT, wasn’t significantly better than you’d had before. You never truly explained how this could be. Wouldn’t you have guessed hauling significantly less weight over all those bumpy miles would have really decreased your time? Is it possible that because you were a lighter rider you were a weaker rider?

    I want to hear that the pain of weight loss, and the diminished joy from eating less, is TOTALLY worth it where bike performance is concerned. Can you testify? Any observations you have about how a lighter rider is a better rider would be appreciated.


  35. Comment by Bitter (formerly known as lissee) | 11.7.2007 | 7:37 pm

    If I remember correctly, the last time you tried the The Stunt Dietâ„¢ , you bailed half-way through and never picked it back up. Here’s hoping you make it through this time. lol

  36. Comment by mark | 11.7.2007 | 7:49 pm

    Fatty, no disrespect but you are a moron. That stunt diet is the most absurd thing I have ever read. If you are serious about losing weight AND maintaining it you need to change your eating habits permanently and that diet definately will not do it. I made the decision 3 weeks ago to do this and am following the CSIRO wellbeing diet. In nearly 3 weeks I have lost 8kg and I am eating more than I used to. Its all a matter of eating the right food in the right quantity at the right times.

  37. Comment by cyclechic | 11.7.2007 | 8:13 pm

    I’m down for a tonsillectomy next week. I’ll be good for at least 15 lbs. Just kidding…I won’t be entering. It seems like cheating. Plus…what’s a road cyclist supposed to do with grips?

  38. Comment by Lifesgreat | 11.7.2007 | 9:20 pm

    I am relatively new here and after reading the particulars of this diet, I don’t want to be near any of you who are doing this until about two weeks from now. No offense.

  39. Comment by Kris | 11.7.2007 | 10:37 pm

    As tempting as the Stunt Diet sounds (just what WOULD it do to me?), I think I’ll join bikemike in guarding the junk food – he’s got candy, I’ll cover the chips.

  40. Comment by fatty | 11.7.2007 | 11:13 pm

    mark – the stunt diet is really the most absurd thing you’ve ever read? in my 2.5 years of absurd blogging, you consider THAT my crowning moment of absurdity? i am crestfallen.

    lifesgreat – luckily for me and all those around me, my farts smell like jasmine, with just a hint of vanilla.

    bitter – you’re absolutely right. i somehow had it in my head that i had completed the thing. well, then. i should be easy to beat. and not just because i am — evidently — an absurd moron without the sense to snap in line with mark’s diet of choice.

    sasquatch – i’m able to ride pretty much the same distance whether i’m light or not. but when i’m light, i’m much faster. much, much faster. and less self-concious. and climbing is more fun. it’s worth it.

    katiea – yeah, a bottle of vegemite is going to be really tough to pass up.

    congo – that’s great news; i’m glad to hear the ergon’s are working out for you so well!

    randomhigh – did you say something about snickers? mmmm…snickers.

    eclecticdeb – glad you’re playing along. and you should feel free to do whatever diet you want. i’m just doing the stunt diet as — believe it or not — a stunt. an absurd, moronic stunt.

    jessi – it should, but it won’t be. this one’s straight-up weight loss. but you should enter anyway. at the very worst you’ll lose no weight and donate some money to an important cause. at the best you’ll lose a lot of weight, win some grips, and donate some money to an important cause. in between is all upside too.

    cyclechic – you should TOTALLY enter. the tonsillectomy diet sounds AWESOME! i do not regard having body parts removed as cheating. though i must confess, it seems a little bit extreme considering all you stand to win are some (admittedly high-end) grips.

    botched – once i ate my own finger. just dipped it in nacho cheese and bit it off. that’s how dangerous i am when i’m around food.

    bdbg – glad you’re joining in, and in the right spirit.

    burke, monkeywebb – see, that plateau is EXACTLY why you’ve got to do something extreme like this once in a while. everything in moderation, including moderation, you know?

    rick s and brad – you know, hearing advice on how to lose weight from people who never have trouble with their weight is just irritating.

    soggy bottom – this week isn’t about sustained weight loss. it’s about slamming on the brakes and making a sharp u-turn. once i’m going in the right direction again, then i start the smart, slow and steady route again. sometimes, though, picking up the cadence by a couple revolutions per minute just won’t do the trick; you’ve got to stand up and sprint to get back into the race. man, that was an awesome metaphor i just came up with.

    big mike – how much longer do you have in school, dude? i’ve got kids graduating with MBAs who were just learning to talk when you started down this road. welcome to the contest!

    soggy bottom boy – would it be a fair assessment for me to think of you as a man of constant sorrow? furthermore, would you admit to having seen trouble all your days? if i don’t miss my guess, you have left your home in old kentucky, the place where you were born and raised.

    cyclingphun – you should know that you spell “fun” wrong. but getting a nice pair of grips is a good start toward getting an mtb. you can tell your significant other / mom / whatever, “hey, i have to get a mountain bike. i need one to go with these grips!”

    everyone else who has commented – sorry i didn’t give you an individual response. it’s time for bed.

  41. Comment by Yukirin Boy | 11.8.2007 | 12:07 am

    Hooray! the Fatty of old has reappeared with crazy diet schemes.
    Welcome back !
    1 day of only yogurt mmmm
    1 day of only muesli mmm

    how did this diet plan go before?

  42. Comment by buckythedonkey | 11.8.2007 | 12:42 am

    I’m in!

    Boz has inspired me to consider the Tactical Evacuation Dietâ„¢. I haven’t worked out any of the details besides:

    Weekend of 10th and 11th: binding food (huzzah! Cheese and chocolate!).
    Night of the 18th: Chickpea Vindaloo with a side order of Tarka Dahl.

    If Boz’s estimate is in the right ballpark, that’ll put me about 6 pounds to the good. If I cut back to just the one bottle of wine per evening, I’ve got this taped.

    Ergon: I’ve had Ergon grips for a couple of years now. They cured my dead hand problem right away – throroughly recommended.

  43. Comment by buckythedonkey | 11.8.2007 | 12:52 am

    I wonder where cyclingphun lives…

    Between us we must have enough parts lying around to be able to come up with a fully kitted (disassembled) mountain bike for him. Then all he’d need to buy would be a decent workshop manual (e.g. Zinn and the Art of Mountainbike Maintenance) and some tools so that he can bolt the Frankenbike together.

    I have some V-brakes with levers and (new) cables. Anybody got an old frame? How tall are you, cyclingphun? Where in the world do you live?

  44. Comment by buckythedonkey | 11.8.2007 | 12:53 am

    > Then all he’d need to…

    Oops, or she.

  45. Pingback by » Get a Grip | 11.8.2007 | 2:19 am

    [...] fatty placed an interesting blog post on Get a Grip.Here’s a brief overview:So any weight loss should be honest weight loss. Also, don’t be dumb. If you’re dumb, you’re out of the contest. For example, if you starve yourself and have to go to the hospital because you swooned, that’s dumb. … [...]

  46. Comment by Mike Roadie | 11.8.2007 | 3:28 am

    Can we at least donate to LAF at: so at least one of us at the Blog can get credit for it???


    Good luck all!!!!!

  47. Comment by DNAtsol | 11.8.2007 | 3:53 am

    Give me some time to finalize my sponsorship to cover the exorbitantly high entrance fee and I’ll probably be in too.

    I’m close to getting either Kashi or Subway (I hear that guy fell off the wagon and is packing on the pounds again).

  48. Comment by Born 4 Lycra | 11.8.2007 | 4:18 am

    I think Mark meant Internationally Famous and very Important Moron. There is of course a difference altho it is hard to be called a moron and not take offense my family call me that all the time.
    Mark as a matter of interest I have just completed a 12 month study with the CSIRO which was observing the effect of Carbohydrates on Diet. 60 of us did a high protein low carb eating plan and 60 the opposite. My wife and I were members of the opposite and we both lost over 20 kg’s each. I reached that figure in 6 months and then plateaued whereas my wife maintained a constant weight drop per month. As yet they have not released the overall results but I do know they retained more people on the high carb low protein than the other one for the full 12 months.
    Good luck with your diet.

  49. Comment by Pammap | 11.8.2007 | 5:23 am

    Ok, I’m in. I have been resisting the idea of e-mailing my weight to someone else because….well, just because but that is a stupid reason to not jump on this bandwagon. I was very thankful that I don’t HAVE to do the Stunt Diet–yikes! that’s one crazy diet, man!

    I also don’t especially need the grips, I’m a roadie too but they are pretty sweet. I may have to dust off the ole mtn bike and ride the Katy Trail. Thanks for the incentive, Fatty.

  50. Comment by Big Mike In Oz | 11.8.2007 | 5:41 am

    Fatty, I think the first day I left a comment on your blog was my first day at university. I’m now completing the 3rd year of a 4 year double degree. The chunk of parchment which I’m scheduled to complete November 2008 and be presented in May 2009 will read…
    Bachelor of Education / Bachelor of Science (Physics major/Mathematics minor).

    At that point in time I’ll be qualified to make kids chant their times tables all day and whack them over the knuckles with a ruler, both of which have been illegal for over a decade (a long dark decade according to some more traditional thinking educators).

    Personally, I’m a bit more progressive in my teaching philosophy:- I truly believe that psychological torture is far more effective than physical. Plus it’s harder to prove in court because you can’t photograph mental scarring.

  51. Comment by traildiva | 11.8.2007 | 5:45 am

    I’m in. This is going to be a tough one — my sweetie just got “fixed” and has been banned from doing any strenuous activity for at least a week or two, so sneaking off to ride while he’s recovering comes with a hefty helping of guilt. Luckily, I’m not a very nice person, which will work in my riding favor.

    Regardless, it is a good reason to give money to a good cause — the public humiliation is the icing on the cake!

  52. Comment by Susan (another one) | 11.8.2007 | 5:52 am

    I weigh 123 and I’m a roadie. I’m out.

  53. Comment by | 11.8.2007 | 5:59 am

    Thats it! If I have the grips I will, in fact, need the mountain bike to go with! Thanks FC! I think I remember a post about this type of thing once?! As phar as my speeling. You meen to tell me that phun doesn’t start with a “ph”? Crud, now what am I supposed to do with the blog?

  54. Comment by Al Maviva | 11.8.2007 | 6:19 am

    Wow. I may need to get involved here. But if I take up the challenge, it’s going to be the All-Kashi-Good-Friends-All-The-Time-Diet, which I call by its shorthand name, Fire In The Hole. It’s a variation of the stunt diet, but it involves spending a lot more time in the Throne Room at home, on the side of the road during group rides, and pretty much all the public restrooms around town. I think Sen. Larry Craig was on this when he got arrested for having a wide stance.

    Not sure if I’m up to this, or if my family is willing to put up with the atmospheric disturbances likely to accompany such a high fiber diet.

  55. Comment by fatty | 11.8.2007 | 6:35 am

    mike roadie – it’s totally cool to register via so one of the blog readers gets credit. highly recommended in fact. in fact, that’s what i’m going to do.

  56. Comment by Nick | 11.8.2007 | 6:38 am

    Dude, there is nothing left. I lost 20 for Leadville and another 10 since. Perhaps I could cut off a limb – or eat like crazy until Monday.

    My suggestion to augment your stunt diet. If you can’t kill it or pick it, don’t eat it. Sorry, i don’t think there is a pasta tree.

  57. Comment by kellene.. | 11.8.2007 | 7:09 am

    You all have a better chance to win than Fatty…I am his sister Kellene and I will be at his house next week helping out. That means…I cook many wonderful things for the family and believe me he can’t resist. I will promise to sabotage him so that one of you can win!
    On second thought, I think I deserve the grips for going to Utah and hanging out with him!

  58. Comment by eunicesara | 11.8.2007 | 7:24 am

    Not even the grips after which I lust will get me on the scales.
    Carry on.
    Greetings to, and continued best wishes for, Susan.

  59. Comment by Canadian Roadie | 11.8.2007 | 7:25 am

    Hmm, I don’t know about this. Those grips sure do look nice though! I was just thinking that the grips on my new mountain bike kind of suck. Okay, I’m in. I doubt I’ll lose any weight (it hasn’t changed since last year – talk about plateau!) but the money’s for a good cause.

    Thanks again for adding some smiles to my otherwise crap week!

  60. Comment by jaxpaw | 11.8.2007 | 7:29 am

    I’m in but with a 1800 calorie a day diet, six meals divided into 300 calories of whatever you want. The better choices you make the more you get to stuff in your mouth. Works for me but probably won’t win the contest. But I am starting out at a portly 230#’s or so you never know. My GI system will be wondering where all the greasy fast food went and I’ll have to run away from some green clouds in the grocery store, really makes shopping take a lot longer, but, I’m in!

  61. Comment by Weean | 11.8.2007 | 7:58 am

    Oh, Nick.

    “Sorry, i don’t think there is a pasta tree”

    You’re so very, very wrong

    I’m afraid I’m out of this one as a roadie (and recovering triathlete- I’m taking it one day at a time), and because I’m trying to gain enough weight to make next years B7 worth entering. There, I’ve said it.

  62. Comment by Anonymous | 11.8.2007 | 8:06 am

    There is no limit to what a group can accomplish, if the individuals don’t care who gets the credit…

  63. Comment by Gillian | 11.8.2007 | 8:19 am

    Pregnant. Also not a cyclist. I’m doubly out, because what would I do with those things if I won? What if I gain more weight than all of you lose put together, any props for that? It’s all amniotic fluid. And child. All of it.

    I’d love the Wednesday and Friday of your stunt diet. That’s all my wee tadpole wants, pasta with marinara. Mmmmmmm. Huuuunnngggrrryyy.

  64. Comment by Mocougfan | 11.8.2007 | 8:19 am


    I saw the Katy Trail reference. What part of MO do you live in? I’m in Warrensburg and love to ride the Katy.

  65. Comment by DNAtsol | 11.8.2007 | 8:38 am

    OK I’m in. Initially I was just going to try and lose some weight contribute to a good cause but…

    Has anyone else looked at the specs on these sweet grips? I gots to get me some!

    Watch out fatty I’m prepared to engage in personal liposuction with a 18 guage needle is necessary :). Sub 200 here I come!

  66. Comment by TIMK | 11.8.2007 | 9:14 am

    I recommend adding chocolate chip grill cheese sandwiches and peanut butter and tuna fish sandwiches to your stunt diet.
    Tried the Ergon grips after so many folks were talking about how awesome they were – I hated them.
    I saw someone on the trail the other day wearing an orange and black. I thought, “awesome a fellow fatty reader to chat with face to face.” Turns out he’s never read the blog, he bought the jersey because he saw it in the LBS on sale and liked the colors I guess.

  67. Comment by Morgan | 11.8.2007 | 9:23 am

    Kellene- I’ll sponsor the grips for you, anything else on the wish list for your efforts of subterguge on behalf of us “commenters”? Nice to have Sister on our side.

    Fatty- With sis in town, your toast!!

  68. Comment by Morgan | 11.8.2007 | 9:24 am

    I really do know how to spell subterfuge.

  69. Comment by cheapie | 11.8.2007 | 9:47 am

    oh man. i applaud the return of the irrational fatty we all know and love.

    while i’d love to get in on the weight loss action, i am at probably the lowest weight i’ve been at since college 8 years ago. and i’m racing 28 miles through the woods/snow/hills in northern lower michigan this weekend ( and don’t want to avoid recovering correctly to win these grips.

    but i like the idea of having to have skin in the game. so…in the unlikely event losing 0 pounds puts me in the running for a prize, i’ll join the fun.

  70. Comment by Clydesteve | 11.8.2007 | 9:50 am

    OK, I’m stuck on 212 lbs, I’m in. My cycling has been sporadic since DST went away, but I have a killer headlight on order that should come in today.

    My diet will consist of leaving the six peanut butter crackers out of my daily sack lunch, skipping 2nds at the dinner table when my wife raises her eyebrows, and, maybe giving up on food entirely Friday through weigh-in.

    late to the party, but is also a great place to make a LAF donation.

    Al Maviva – the “wide stance” comment as a follow up to “Fire In the Hole” is responsible for another keyboard in the landfill with SLS (Spewed Latte Syndrome). For that, thanks. It was worth it, and I hated that keyboard anyway.

  71. Comment by mark | 11.8.2007 | 10:05 am

    Other “mark” – before making snarky comments and insulting fatty, please use a moniker that distinguishes you from me. While I am perfectly happy to launch grenades in fatty’s direction, I don’t necessarily want credit for yours.

    KatieA, my guess is that the package contains Timtams and not vegemite. Fatty, if you have never had Timtams, good luck losing weight. If I’m right, and you like them, and you don’t want to diet ever again, I can tell you where to find them here in the states.

  72. Pingback by Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » Wherein I Get Downright Aggressive About Selling Out | 11.8.2007 | 10:06 am

    [...] « Get a Grip [...]

  73. Comment by Little1 | 11.8.2007 | 10:24 am

    Hey FC! cool this compo has arrived spot on time for me. I have been away for work all week. Ah hotel food, and take out for lunch. Howzat for a head start, suckers! but next week I’m home, and summer has finally started.

    I know I can’t win cause I’m in S.A. and guess the prize doesn’t include packaging, so I will make my entry fee to a local Cancer charity CHOC (Childhood Cancer – Lots of kids in SA can’t recieve treatment while living at home 3rd world and all), I’m gonna convert your $10 to local currency and give that to the CHOC fund. And i’m still gonna try and loose some weight, especially as i have been travelling three to four days a week for the last month. (thanks for keeping me sane while away from my bike)

    Catch you all on the flip side

  74. Comment by Canadian roadie | 11.8.2007 | 10:30 am

    Mmm, timtams

  75. Comment by Col | 11.8.2007 | 11:25 am


    sorry, having a tonsillectomy won’t help you lose weight. I had one when I was 30 and all that happened was throwing up the jello I was given (not even ice cream!) from swallowing blood during the operation. When I got home I had a high fever from an infection I picked up at the hospital! And no, that didn’t make me lose anything either.

  76. Comment by eclecticdeb | 11.8.2007 | 11:44 am


    I just HAD to look up Tim Tams. Oh My Freaking God! Just what I need, another chocolate treat to obsess over. I’m literally salivating and gaining weight just by looking at them. I especially like the idea of a “Tim Tam Slam” , which involves biting off opposing corners of the Tim Tam, and then using the modified biscuit as a ’straw’ to suck up a hot beverage (usually tea, coffee, hot chocolate, Milo, or liqour such as Irish Cream).

  77. Comment by KT | 11.8.2007 | 11:45 am

    Man, I don’t own a scale. I guess I could go down to Fred Meyer or Bed Bath and Beyond or Linens and Things and “shop for a scale” (aka use theirs), but….

    I don’t know, I just don’t know. I think I’m the only girl who doesn’t own a scale. Weird.

    BUT– I’ll be cheering y’all on in your efforts to beat the Original Fat Cyclist!

    By the by, Fatty, the Stunt Diet scares me.

    I’m on the healthy breakfast-fast food lunch-healthy dinner with wine and/or beer and/or cocktails diet right now. Bummer, eh.

  78. Comment by cyclechic | 11.8.2007 | 12:03 pm

    Damn it Col…you just tore off my silver lining. Maybe I’ll ask them to wire my mouth shut while their in there tearing out my tonsils.

  79. Comment by Canadian roadie | 11.8.2007 | 12:47 pm

    Electicdeb, While you’re salivating over timtams, take a look at Jaffas. Orange flavoured coating, real chocolate in the middle. Yum.

  80. Comment by Harp | 11.8.2007 | 2:27 pm

    I’m in. I’ve been wanting to switch up from the E-1’s that I’m using know. And I was going to start a different diet soon anyway and this will be a little incentive to stick to it.

  81. Comment by Kerri | 11.8.2007 | 2:37 pm

    Your Stunt Diet sounds atrocious. I mean, I’m a big fan of carbs and chicken (if not protein shakes), but the single-mindedness of it all would not work for me. I will not be competing, as I am pregnant and should by no means be crash dieting, but I wish everyone else luck (and good health, since crash dieting is terrible for your body).

  82. Comment by Big Tommy C | 11.8.2007 | 6:35 pm

    Wow, I’m a bit late to the comment party… probably no one will ever read this, but here we go…

    This is exactly what I need. In August of ‘05 I was 277. I magically managed to drop to 225 by July of ‘06.

    Since then I’ve ballooned back up to 260ish. This is Unacceptable. I’ve also been totally unable to make myself stick with any weight loss schemes, I just crave carbs ALL THE TIME.

    I have a new secret though that should get me back in the game, so watch out…Big Tommy’s comin’.

    …by the way, I’ve been reading this forever and I think this is the first time I’ve ever actually commented.

  83. Comment by SpikeBlue | 11.8.2007 | 9:04 pm

    I too am going for the surgery diet. I’m having brain surgery Monday morning, so between loosing a tumor (and all those rocks in my head), not eating for 24 hours and hospital food, I might be in the running. However, they do give you steroids, so I may be eating everything I can find in the hospital by the end of the week.

  84. Comment by mark | 11.8.2007 | 9:38 pm

    SpikeBlue – surgery diet doesn’t work. I was hopeful that I’d shed a few after my knee surgery last week. Despite taking out a monstrous hunk of scar tissue (surgeon referred to it as “exorbitant”), not eating anything for 24 hours before surgery, throwing everything up that I ate for 16 hours after surgery, and generally watching my diet the rest of the week, I still put on a couple of pounds. Not exercising killed me there. I was even willing to take weight loss in the form of muscle atrophy, but alas, no weight loss was to be had, though there was still some muscle atrophy.

    Good luck, best wishes, and prayers to you anyway. Let’s get rid of that crappy tumor and hopefully collectively lose some weight at the same time.

  85. Pingback by Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » Three Glorious Days, Two Fun-Filled Nights | 11.9.2007 | 5:02 am

    [...] PS: Be sure to sign yourself up for the One-Week “Get A Grip” Weight Loss, where you can win some awesome Ergon grips. The competition begins this Monday! [...]

  86. Comment by Stephen | 11.9.2007 | 8:37 am

    Nice contest, I’m not in though, I can’t lose any pounds, I would have to starve myself and wind up in the hospital, I guess I could take my clothes off, I might lose a pound there……

  87. Comment by | 11.9.2007 | 6:32 pm

    buckythedonkey- Hahaha… I just caught your post. I’m hoping to have some money together by the thaw next year, Im in northeast Ohio so a road bike just won’t cut the two or three feet of snow we get in the winter. But Im hoping over the winter to sell off part of my classic Mac collection and some of my records from my DJ collection to buy some stuff and frankenbike something. So if anyone wants old school dance or various old school Apple stuff let me know. Im going to be ebaying about 50 Apple Computer shirts (staff and not for public release stuff), some old Macs (Blue & White G3, Bondi iMac, etc etc etc…), and various other goodies. Just saying.

  88. Comment by Amit Behere | 11.10.2007 | 6:32 pm

    Hey Fatty,

    I think you should modify the contest a bit. How about percentage weight loss? A 200 pound guy can drop 8 pounds in 3 days. It takes me 3 weeks.

    So 10 pounds in 200 is 5%. 8 pounds in 150 is more than 5%. The 150 pounds dude /dudess should win.

  89. Comment by rob.r | 11.11.2007 | 6:07 am

    This is just the motovational tool I needed to get out and ride more. But it sure is cold here, and so much Holloween candy to be had. But those grips will look so nice on my bike. Good luck all.

  90. Comment by Fan of Susan | 11.11.2007 | 7:59 pm

    Well, since the husband has thrown his hat in the ring and he’s the one who does the grocery shopping and cooking, I guess I’m now in also :-). We’re happy to institute an “only one set of grips per household” rule though on the off (and highly improbable) chance that we both do well.

  91. Comment by Brett | 11.12.2007 | 7:10 am

    I’m in. 197 this morning..ouch…after being between 180-185 all summer. I might have a shot at this thing, if I had a lick of discipline.

  92. Pingback by Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » A Thank-You, An Announcement, and a Preview | 11.12.2007 | 8:33 am

    [...] AnnouncementToday’s the first day of the “Get a Grip” One-Week Weight Loss Challenge, brought to you by the fine folks at Ergon Bike Ergonomics. At this moment, so far 27 people (including me) have signed up, and have donated $810 toward fighting cancer as their entry fee — three times as much as the minimum donation required. [...]

  93. Comment by Mark | 11.13.2007 | 8:39 am

    Ha! I’m always a day late and a dollar short. I just stumbled onto this blog, and it has the right title for me. I am 53 yo and 270lbs, just started biking; and of course the hills are just killing me. The best I can do right now is 7-8 miles of mild trails, but hey! I pushed the darned thing home the first day from a foray into my hilly neighborhood.
    My problem is that when I get gassed, I don’t recover and all hills thereafter are a double whammy. Anybody have recommendations on pre-ride nutrition or something to snack on along the way that might help?

  94. Pingback by Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » One-Point-Eight | 11.19.2007 | 7:41 am

    [...] So the “Get A Grip” One Week Weight Loss Challenge — brought to you by Ergon –is over, and…well, I did terrible. [...]

  95. Pingback by Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » WADA Needs a Hero | 11.19.2007 | 6:35 pm

    [...] Two Notes from Fatty: First, I’m going to have to beg for an extra day to do the math on who won the “Get a Grip” contest. Thank you in advance for cutting me the necessary quantity of slack. [...]

  96. Pingback by Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » Morning After | 11.23.2007 | 9:00 am

    [...] The winners of the Ergon Get a Grip Contest. [...]

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  98. Comment by Mike | 03.6.2008 | 1:58 pm

    Please check your spam email…I have been trying to contact you about this for quite some time now and I know I have been “spammed” before…I have been trying to send you emails with 3 different accounts..


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